startline disasters 3-premature trajectulation

GOOD TITLE EH?

This is my last disaster story(not all my starts were doomed!)

Mallory Park in June 1998.

A New Era Club meeting with a large entry for the 500 Classic race.

So large, in fact ,that the 500s

were to start 10 seconds in front of a 350 group.

(2 races in one in fact)

I was riding a Honda 350 K4

- a race sorted, roadbased twin .

These bikes bridge the gap nicely

between old and new technology in the classic race scene.

They are deservedly very popular mounts

-strong and reliable

and very competetive in the right hands.

Grid positions were allocated from timed practice results,

run in the morning sessions.

I seem to think there were about 5 rows and I was on the 3rd row

-mid pack in the 350 group

-a good race result, a distinct possibility.

Mallory is a very short course and it is vital to get a good start.

There are few safe passing places.

With this in mind, I was concentrating very hard, on getting a flyer .

SO HARD in fact,

that when the lights went green,

and the first group ,the 500s,left the line

I FOLLOWED THEM

(hence the title-premature trajectulation-geddit?)

I reached the front row before I realised my mistake.

On the “verbal” advice of the startline martial,

I ignominiously pedaled backwards to my slot;

The INSTANT I arrived,

the lights went green for my group

They were off in a flash.

Frantically banging the Honda into gear,

I dashed after the disappearing throng.

Absolutely mad with myself,

I was driving like a man possessed!

So possessed in fact

that I realised I was carrying far too much speed

for the upcoming bend

Gerards .

This is a constant radius bend

which demands a racing line close to its inner edge ;

There was no way I would make it.

I sat up and drove straight into the “kitty litter”

I managed to keep the bike running

and with a marshalls help,

ALMOST got back on the track.

The bike stalled about a yard short

and without the luxury of either kick start

or leccie start on my 1970,s twin

FINITO!

I sat the race out in the martshalls shelter on Gerards

-then back to the paddock in the meatwagon.

Not even one lap completed.

After that I allways watched the bike alongside me

-when he went,so did I,not beforehand

ghostbike

PSSST………….Can you keep a secret?

OK,but dont tell them at Ebay.

About 5 years ago me and my pal Roger

were keen carbooters,

antique- fair traders,

-buying and selling at auctions

and of course Ebay traders.

We bought and sold all sorts

and spent hours and hours “on line”

( any Ebay widow will recognise the symptoms.)

We were particularly fascinated by a bike trader

who used naff photos

and a particular style of semi literate

“rural speak”

You could never quite make out what it was he was  selling .

Roger started sending him similarly semi literate questions-all a bit of fun ;

We  soon developed a sort of competition

between ourselves to see who could sell the daftest item.

I came up with a beauty.

I had a photo of the wifes Clio,

and in the corner

you could just see the seat of a Suzuki Goose 350

that I had at the time.

(what a great bike that would have been

if fitted with the DR650 or DR Big motor .

Great looks,

very light,

neat suspension and brakes……)

ANYWAY

I took another photo of the space

where the bike was kept,

but removed whilst I took the photo,

in other words an EMPTY space.

I posted an advert for

“my sons bike for sale-unknown make or model”

I described it as Japanese or Italian,

2 stroke or 4 stroke,

Bigger than 125 cc-but capacity unknown,

Age unknown

make and model-unknown

All that was known was that it was blue and noisy.

I got DOZENS of emails enquiring further info

(which I was unable to supply-of course)

I started the bidding at £10

and when it reached over £600 with multiple bidders

and a day to go,

I chickened out and cancelled all bids,

saying the bike was no longer available

as my son had swapped it

for a 2 stroke(or maybe a 4 stroke,

350 or 500cc Jap,

or maybe Italian……………etc etc)

What a larff we had

Hawkestone 1978

I found these pictures the other day;

Hawkestone Park April 1978.

Graham Noyce,miles in front,gassing up the big hill.

He was such a stylish rider,wasnt he?

I wonder what hes doing now?

and how about this little beauty?

“British Rival”

125 two stroke-Sachs engine?

Lovely little bike.

startline disasters2-roadrage

Cadwell Park-1998.
Formula 400s-Ist race.
Good practice,3rd row on the grid 5 rows in total..

Nicely relaxed,new orange bib,
black leathers to match the bike-A honda RVF400
painted and stickered to look, at first glance, like an Aprilia RS250
.(You,d be surprised how many riders ,
looking at the bike said”I didnt know Aprilia made a V4”
-people rarely spot subtle differences
-its like shaving off a beard or a moustache
-hardly anyone notices or at most says
”Is there something different about you?
My own mother failed to notice
that I,d shaved off the beard I,d sported for 5 years!)

Marshall walks to starting box holding red flag aloft,
Noise deafening as 30 plus high revving 400 cc Multis
build up the revs ready to go….
Down goes the flag,
clouds of blue tyre smoke;

DOWN GOES THE BLOKE IN FRONT!

The guy in line with me,2 rows in front,
had done an enormous involuntary wheelie as he dumped the clutch.

and dropped the bike.

the guy directly in front has no choice
but to drive over him and/or his fallen bike.
In my turn I swerve desperately,
to the right of the rider on the ground
and ride along the rumble strip,trying to stay upright
Out of the corner of my right eye
I see the rider from behind me,

sideways on the grass,
speedway style,

throwing mud and clods everywhere
.
It is just like a group of lemmings hurtling madly towards self destruction!
All this takes only a second or two
but I am so shellshocked,I lose my concentration
and try to stay with the quickly disappearing horde
but at a sedate pace.
Its all a bit like a battle scene from Braveheart
-organised Chaos!.

Its a this point I decide to sell the RVF Honda
and buy a classic racer instead
-I,m too old for this mularky.

(pictured-Honda CL77305,Honda 350 K4 and Ducati 250

I bought 2 classic racers to join the old CL77 in fact)

Honda RVF is sold to a nice lad
who brings his 18 year old “professional mechanic “mate
along to test the 400s mechanical condition.

At his insistence I hand him the Dyno readouts
done by Sean, the Wizard,from RS Tuning at Retford
Following an airbox mod,
a change of Jets(different sizes back 2 and front 2 cylinders)
and a tasty Jap exhaust system
the bike is now making 65bhp at the rear wheel,
with no loss of flexibility on the way.

He stares at the graphs knowingly
muttering “not bad”

-I can bear it no longer.
I reach over and turn the pages the right way up
and point at the important curves-Red face!

Perhaps its like they say-

“Youth is wasted on the young?”

Terrot cutie

Spotted this little beauty in town today.

I dont know what capacity or model-sorry.

It looks like a 125 two stroke(twin port)

Love the hamper and the brass bicycle pump!

startline disaster 1

A startline disaster,is just that

-a reason to pack up and go home.
Getting a good start in life,

making a headstart,

getting it off the line.

getting your nose in front

-all the expressions we use to stress

the importance of initial impetus (or lack of it).
Well I  have to admit I am not a particularly good starter

-not aggressive enough probably

-happy to follow not to lead.

Mid pack is great,towards the rear OK,at the front-TOO SCARY

I was allways a much better enduro rider than a racer-setting my own pace suits me best

(in life in general as well as sport)
I get so wound up and nervous that I take at least 1 lap to settle into it.

I keep telling myself to relax,

loosen the grip on the bars a little,

concentrate on riding.
When I was doing enduros,I allways reckoned to slide off

at least once or twice in the first mile through overanxiety.

After that I could relax and almost enjoy the ride!
The incident illustrated in this post(more to follow)

took place at an AMCA scramble at Morridge Top circa 1977

-on the Moors between Leek and Buxton in Derbyshire.
It was about my 3rd meeting on the AJS stormer 370.
I look like an American footballer

with all that padding!

And check out the Skoda race transporter behind me!

Anyway -I had bought it from an “Expert” rider in our club.
He had beefed up the motor,extended the suspension travel

and in his hands was a very capable racebike.
Not so capable in my “Junior” hands

-it had a nasty habit of losing its clutch if held engaged for too long.

(I became a dab hand at changing the thrust washer between races)
On this occasion we were on the startline,

me with the clutch disengaged,revving up ready for the mad dash.
(thats me on the far left of the grid trying to start her)

TOO LONG TO WAIT.

I KNOW……..
I,ll give the clutch a rest,

knock her out of gear,

wait till the gate drops,

snick it into gear

and off!!!!!!!

-only possible course of action

It was a split second decision that had to be made…….
WRONG CHOICE.
Gate drops,

clutch in ,

bang into1st gear,

release clutch,

STALL Motor
DISASTER!!!!

Thats me frantically trying to start her as the pack disappears into the distance.

WAIT FOR ME…………..

With everyone watching you half a lap adrift,

the pressure is even worse.

kept telling myself over and over”dont fall off-its bad enough already”
It was actually better when the frontrunners caught up and lapped me

-at least theres someone to chase,

and by then your solitary status is swallowed up by pack.
I think the second race that day passed without incident

-at least I must have got it off the line anyway!

A solex for all the family!

HOW ABOUT  THIS FOR A FAMILY OUTFIT?

Advertised on the French ”freeads” site-leboncoin.fr  for 400euros.

Perfectfor a family of midgets!

GET IT BOUGHT!! :P

Cunning stunts?

Some photos of the stunt show at last weeks bikeshow in Limoges.

Quite amazing!

How do you learn to do these thing in the first place?

Note the French safety gear!

Trainers de rigeur!

How about sending me a caption for this one?

or this one? :P